I’ve learned a lot of valuable lessons in the last couple months in regards to relationships. I’ve learned that you can’t help someone who isn’t will to help themselves, you can’t “fix” someone who doesn’t want to be put back together and that I deserve to be in a healthy, happy, normal functioning relationship. As women I think that we take on the roll of the nurturer, the person who wants to see the good in everyone and is willing to do whatever it takes to make your partner into a better person. But, when they don’t want it for themselves, there’s nothing you can do.
At some point, that person needs to step back, take a look at themselves and work on issues they may have. Of course instead of doing this, my ex decided to jump right into another relationship without solving any of the problems that tore us apart. All I have to say to that is, it’s no longer my problem and I’ve never felt so liberated. Am I perfect? Absolutely not. But, I own that and I know that I’m a good person who has hopes, goals and aspirations for the future that will lead me to someone on my same path.
Of course coming to these realizations doesn’t mean I’m not going to settle for the first person that utters the word commitment. In fact, I recently went out on a date with a guy who ended up being a Stage 5 clinger after three dates. It really started out nicely. We met at the local watering hole – he was attractive, funny and had his shit together. He asked for my number, which wasn’t out of the ordinary, but then he started texting me immediately. I mean like, I was sitting at the bar with my aunt flanked to my left and he was on my right. I was talking to my aunt and he texted me, “Can I ask you a question?” I’m like, why is this dude texting me right now when I’m literally sitting right next to him? So I said, “Sure?” He says, “Is it weird that I think you’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen?” Ugh…. Why did you have to get creepy?!
Throughout the night he got increasingly clingy. Asking to hold my hand in public and while trying to force kisses on me, I smelled it. hal·i·to·sis noun: halitosis: technical term for bad breath. No Google, you got it wrong, halitosis: when your breath smells like an actual dog took a giant dump in your mouth. I couldn’t bare it. I couldn’t even pretend to like kissing him. But, it was our first time meeting and I thought, maybe this is just a fluke thing. So, I agreed to go out with him on a first date.
We met up at Dave & Busters. He was much less creepy and we didn’t kiss so the dog shit breath sort of took a backseat. I was like; maybe I was too hard on this guy. We ended up at Hooters because why the fuck not? And I don’t know whether it was the environment filled with boobs and booze, but for whatever reason he said, “Yeah, and I had to jerk off before our date so that I wouldn’t be all over you.” I’m like, AGAIN… you’re on a one-way trip to Creepville, dude! Like, I know that’s probably a thing dudes do, but WHY IN THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY THAT ON A FIRST DATE, OR AT ALL? So, that pretty much ended our night.
He had already invited me to his friend’s house to watch the Bengals game the next day, so I felt bad if I didn’t go. Again, I’m still trying to give this dude the benefit of the doubt even though his sliminess was starting to wear on me. 10 minutes before he picked me up, he texted me, “Pic?” I was like, “Why? You’re about to see me in a few minutes.” He responds, “You know why ;)” I literally almost puked on my phone. I felt almost, violated! This dude was officially over the line. But, I felt obligated to go to his friend’s house for the game because I KNOW he had been talking about me to his friends. And by the way, I think meeting the friends after one date is WAY too soon, so I already felt uncomfortable. He picks me up and we grab beer on the way. During the drive over, I had to crack my window because his dog shit breath was so bad, I couldn’t breathe. He reached his hand over to my thigh and said, “Yeah, my boss wants me to work all this extra over time and I told him that I met someone so I won’t be able to do much overtime in the future.” This dude thinks this is really going somewhere??? Oh God. So, needless to say, I drank myself into oblivion at his friend’s house in hopes of not remembering this day at all.
He dropped me off and not even an hour later, I text him that this just wasn’t going to work out. All he said was, “I wish you would’ve told me in person. I had no idea you felt this way.” I was being nice and apologized, but then he ended it with, “Well, can I get one last pic?” I literally almost threw my phone across the room. I just erased his number and hope to Baby Jesus that I never run into him again. Of course two weeks ago he texted me and asked me how I was doing. We had small chat, but can you guess how he ended the conversation?
“Pic?”
God damnit, I hate you.
At some point, that person needs to step back, take a look at themselves and work on issues they may have. Of course instead of doing this, my ex decided to jump right into another relationship without solving any of the problems that tore us apart. All I have to say to that is, it’s no longer my problem and I’ve never felt so liberated. Am I perfect? Absolutely not. But, I own that and I know that I’m a good person who has hopes, goals and aspirations for the future that will lead me to someone on my same path.
Of course coming to these realizations doesn’t mean I’m not going to settle for the first person that utters the word commitment. In fact, I recently went out on a date with a guy who ended up being a Stage 5 clinger after three dates. It really started out nicely. We met at the local watering hole – he was attractive, funny and had his shit together. He asked for my number, which wasn’t out of the ordinary, but then he started texting me immediately. I mean like, I was sitting at the bar with my aunt flanked to my left and he was on my right. I was talking to my aunt and he texted me, “Can I ask you a question?” I’m like, why is this dude texting me right now when I’m literally sitting right next to him? So I said, “Sure?” He says, “Is it weird that I think you’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen?” Ugh…. Why did you have to get creepy?!
Throughout the night he got increasingly clingy. Asking to hold my hand in public and while trying to force kisses on me, I smelled it. hal·i·to·sis noun: halitosis: technical term for bad breath. No Google, you got it wrong, halitosis: when your breath smells like an actual dog took a giant dump in your mouth. I couldn’t bare it. I couldn’t even pretend to like kissing him. But, it was our first time meeting and I thought, maybe this is just a fluke thing. So, I agreed to go out with him on a first date.
We met up at Dave & Busters. He was much less creepy and we didn’t kiss so the dog shit breath sort of took a backseat. I was like; maybe I was too hard on this guy. We ended up at Hooters because why the fuck not? And I don’t know whether it was the environment filled with boobs and booze, but for whatever reason he said, “Yeah, and I had to jerk off before our date so that I wouldn’t be all over you.” I’m like, AGAIN… you’re on a one-way trip to Creepville, dude! Like, I know that’s probably a thing dudes do, but WHY IN THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY THAT ON A FIRST DATE, OR AT ALL? So, that pretty much ended our night.
He had already invited me to his friend’s house to watch the Bengals game the next day, so I felt bad if I didn’t go. Again, I’m still trying to give this dude the benefit of the doubt even though his sliminess was starting to wear on me. 10 minutes before he picked me up, he texted me, “Pic?” I was like, “Why? You’re about to see me in a few minutes.” He responds, “You know why ;)” I literally almost puked on my phone. I felt almost, violated! This dude was officially over the line. But, I felt obligated to go to his friend’s house for the game because I KNOW he had been talking about me to his friends. And by the way, I think meeting the friends after one date is WAY too soon, so I already felt uncomfortable. He picks me up and we grab beer on the way. During the drive over, I had to crack my window because his dog shit breath was so bad, I couldn’t breathe. He reached his hand over to my thigh and said, “Yeah, my boss wants me to work all this extra over time and I told him that I met someone so I won’t be able to do much overtime in the future.” This dude thinks this is really going somewhere??? Oh God. So, needless to say, I drank myself into oblivion at his friend’s house in hopes of not remembering this day at all.
He dropped me off and not even an hour later, I text him that this just wasn’t going to work out. All he said was, “I wish you would’ve told me in person. I had no idea you felt this way.” I was being nice and apologized, but then he ended it with, “Well, can I get one last pic?” I literally almost threw my phone across the room. I just erased his number and hope to Baby Jesus that I never run into him again. Of course two weeks ago he texted me and asked me how I was doing. We had small chat, but can you guess how he ended the conversation?
“Pic?”
God damnit, I hate you.