Fetishes. We all know what they are. And more likely than not, we all have them in one capacity or another. It may not be a "I like swinging from the rafters dressed as Donkey Kong while you pretend my weiner is a banana" kind of fetish, but chances are, everyone has their "thing".
Let's talk about the panty hose guy. This dude was hands down a man whore. I avoided hooking up with him for two years because the first time he talked to me, he referred to his Member as a boner and how he was currently dry-humping a pillow while messaging me on OkCupid. He was essentially blocked from all outlets until I stumbled upon him again while window shopping on Tinder. It seemed like he had his life together much more than previous interactions. So, I went with it and we started talking. But soon, the talking turned to sexting (on his end) and he eventually spilled the beans about his hang up in the bedroom. He likes women to wear nylons. Not just any nylons.. Preferably crotchless nude nylons. He then proceeded to send me pretty much the most offensive things being done in nylons and nyloned foot jobs. Hey man, if that's your thing, great. But maybe you wait until after the first date to tell me about your deep dark nude nylon fetishes.
An oldie but a goodie was another guy from college. My college friends know, my freshman and sophomore year, I went on a rampage, and no multi-cultural dude was safe (specifically of the Latin decent). I went to Puerto Rico twice, Mexico once and I think there was an Spaniard thrown in there too. But it was the Mexican dude who really threw me for a loop. He wanted me to call him "Papi" and basically wanted me to repeat everything he was saying to me in Spanish. Listen Ese, I took French in high school and that's about as bilingual as I get. But of course, what was I supposed to do mid-way through? As my head bounced off the walls of the dorm's concrete brick wall, I was trying to recite back what he was saying. I just kept thinking, are we boning or am I getting credit for this?? I would reach up every so often and cover his mouth to act like he was being too loud but in all reality, the Spanish oral test wasn't doing anything for me and that was the fastest way I could shut him up.
A wise man recently told me this about online dating: "The odds are good, but the goods can be kind of odd." Here's a shoutout to you, my wise friend. You know who you are ;-)