I’m not asking for the moon, stars, or your first born child. Just buy me a beer and a burger. When a guy doesn’t pay for the first date, what is that saying about him? Is he cheap? Am I not worth the combo meal? How many dates does this dude go on where he can’t afford to go on dates anymore?
I constantly hear from dudes, “I appreciate it when a girl just offers to pay for her half, I won’t let her pay, but it’s the effort that counts”. So, what do I do? Every time – I offer to pay for my half. And what do they do? They take me up on it! It never fails.
The biggest Dutch situation I’ve ever been in involves me, flying to see a guy that I truly thought had potential to become something more. We met at a wedding a year prior & really hit it off. We’ll call him, Doug. So, I shell out $500 on a plane ticket to go see Doug. I step off the plane, we go to a local taco joint and then, the bombshell. “I’ll get this meal as your
‘Welcome' meal, but I figured we’d just go Dutch on everything else for the rest
of the trip”. Pump the breaks, Dougie boy! I just came out of pocket for my plane ticket down here & you have the nerve to tell me to pay for all of my own shit? Well, I respected his wishes and basically almost went negative in my bank account exploring the unfamiliar town on my own dime while he worked the entire time pretty much. Top to it off (literally), I ended up having to put $20 in his gas tank to get around. Needless to say, we haven’t really spoken since. Which is a damn shame – but c’mon dude. If it was a bad month for you financially for me to come visit, you should’ve said something from the get go.
If a dude wants to make plans to go out & the money Gods haven’t visited me for a while, I’m ALWAYS honest with them- “hey, I’d love to go out sometime, but I’m a broke bitch until Friday (or whatever)”. Thinking they’d say, “No problem, I got you”. NOPE! I get… “Sure, we can go out another time”. Never fails… Goons.
And when a dude does pay for you on the first date – they usually expect something more. “Hey, you wanna come back to my place and smoke some pot”? I know what that means – you want THIS. Not cool, bro. A guy I went out with once, wearing what only can be described as a deflated hot air balloon synched around his waist as pants, asked me, “so, you wanna go up to your place and smoke pot?” I told him no and his response? “Well then you at least have to give me a kiss”. Listen Bozo the Clown pants, I don’t need to do anything! I don’t owe you anything! But, I obliged since I knew he probably doesn’t get to date much, being in clown school & all. As I went in for it, it was literally slow motion like, “NOOOOOOO”. I did the quick pull away like you do when your coffee-breathed grandpa tries to plant a wet one on you with his chapped, old lips.
Moral of the story guys and girls: Men should ALWAYS pay for the first date. You’re trying to woo me. Fucking woo me, damnit! And ladies – never go on a date with a dude who wears clown pants.